Be Kind, Go First & Pay Attention

Originally posted on LinkedIn Aug 18, 2017:

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/kind-go-

Have you heard of the old adage "Be kind, for everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about."?  This was originally coined as "Be pitiful, for every man is fighting a hard battle.” by the Rev. John Watson (3 November 1850 – 6 May 1907) who was a Scottish author and theologian, known by his pen name Ian Maclaren. 

I have always tried my best to take this approach in interacting with other people despite what they can do for me or how they initially treated me and others around me. 

The quickest and easiest path to that kindness is to be the catalyst and go first.  I initially came across the idea of "go first" in Tim Ferriss’ "Tools of Titans" as Gabby Reece‘s decision to always go first.  For those who don't know Gabby, she is 6'3" and a former world class volleyball player who also happens to be married to Laird Hamilton (they have 2 daughters, Reece Viola and Brody Jo).  In Gabby's words: I always say that I’ll go first…. That means if I’m checking out at the store, I’ll say hello first. If I’m coming across somebody and make eye contact, I’ll smile first. [I wish] people would experiment with that in their life a little bit: Be first, because — not all times, but most times — it comes in your favor. The response is pretty amazing….  This is a great reminder for people everywhere in all walks of life but especially for those of us in sales.  What does this have to do with sales?  To be successful in sales (and sales management) it is essential that you possess the ability to read, interact with and influence other people to get to a place that is mutually beneficial for both parties involved. 

This recently bubbled up as a rep on our team encountered a very rude customer who essentially scolded the rep for doing their job.  I don't want to get into too much detail but the crux of our conversation after the exchange was that it is helpful to put ourselves in the shoes of the people we are working with.  If we tap into our emotional intelligence to understand what motivates the people we work with, what they fear, what shortcomings they might overcompensate for etc. it only strengthens our ability to understand them and work more effectively with them regardless of the situation.

It is essential for sales reps to think about what the other person’s (i.e. rude customer's) mindset might be, and up-level yourself to work around that person’s shortcomings. 

Furthermore in F2F situations, besides taking notes, etc. make sure to pay attention to their body language, how they treat other people, where they come from, how they speak and where they sit within their organization.  These are just a few indicators we can perceive if we're paying attention. 

Human beings are imperfect creatures, in order to arrive at mutually beneficial outcomes on a daily basis it is essential that we pay attention to these cues.  The more we know about the people we work with, the better we can navigate each and every interaction to ensure the most successful outcome possible.  If you're perceptive, kind and go first you just might find that tough customer changing their tune. 

Has anyone else had a negative interaction with a rude customer? If so, what could you have done differently to avoid the altercation in the first place? What did you learn from the experience? Feel free to comment below or connect with me on linkedin.com/in/rstone57 or @rstone57.